JINGLE JANGLE

I'm from Texas. My wife and I moved to New York City about seven months ago. We went from a city of 200,000 people (take or take a few) where you wave at people in the cars you pass because they are people. You make eye contact. You even smile. And all of this is with people you DON'T know.
The NYC works a little differently. This is a city of several million people each trying to assert themselves in a variety of ways. Some incorporate a variety at the same time. Some assert themselves with their unwillingness to waver from their path in the least for any reason whatsoever even at the risk of knocking an elderly handicapped, blind man to the street. Some use their sheer volume to let you know, or at least make you think they are very strong and important. Some employ the use of natural bodily oders that the English language fails to be able to qualify with name or description; but it's a scent that is sometimes difficult to discern between greek seasoning or fat sweat.
Others assert themselves through the subtle art of subway space-taking-up (I haven't come up with a better term yet.) It's as if they stand in such a way that there is obviously enough room near them for at least two more people, but that room is not all in one place. It's around them so nobody can use it, and they specifically want to challenge you to say something or make eye contact. Now, this usually happens with very large, naturaly assertive men, but it's really funny when it's a five foot tall pencil-neck with a receding hairline that obviously makes more money than I do, but not so much as to feel like a complete success.
So they stand there with their all leather messenger bag, all leather shoes, and all leather chip on their shoulder just waiting for you to bump into them and mess up their Sudoku, because then they're going to really get you with a zinger like: "Nice one, Buddy!" or "Seriously?!" or "Somebody make me taller, with more hair, with more business conections, and charm so as to attract women so that I can have kids one day that I will ignore for work and they can blame me for everything including their poor taste in fashion, and ill social-temperment, and call me a yuppie Nazi until it drives me to the bottle and their mom to leave me, until I just want to scream, puke, or cry, and then kill a bum just to feel powerful when all I really want is a hug or a perfectly executed Sudoku!!! Thanks!!" That's my favorite, but it's a little used up.
So I've been trying to figure out how to assert myself, but not completely lose myself into the sea of my polite-challenged bretheren. I am after all a Texan. Don't get me wrong, I really do like it here, but I want to retain a certain amount of my character and civility. So how does one do that but still make sure that everybody knows that he's serious?
I'm thinkin' spurs. Yeah, spurs. Everyone could hear me jingling from 100 feet away. Like justice approaching, they would stand aside and be nice and stop cutting people (in line or with knives. Or in line with knives), or cussing in front of kids, and for that matter, stop letting their kids cuss. There would be a courtesy shake down with serious spur driven consequences to people who continued to be needlessly rude or curt. I could say "No I don't have change I could spare, but you can look at and admire my righteous spurs." And sure you could make fun of me behind my back and laugh at the matching up of sneakers, Gap apparel, and a pair of shiny spurs. It's your right to scoff. But just know that if you do, there's a good chance of getting a swift howdy to the junk with my spurs of truth and freedom. Let freedom ring. Let freedom jingle.